People tend to do things backwards in life, and for a really long time, I was definitely one of them.
Like most people, I grew up thinking that there was
only one way to live and that meant going to college, getting a job, and working til retirement, and that was it. There was no room for creativity or discovering what truly fed my soul. It was about benefits, a pension, and a steady paycheck. Everything else was just a pipe dream.
So for over 20 years, I did just that. And with each passing year, I could literally feel parts of me dying inside. Whenever I would get inspired to pursue another path in life (which was often), I
always came up with an excuse as to why I couldn’t do it, and every time I did I would yet again
deny myself the luxury of living up to my true potential.
Sure there was the occasional momentary lapse of reason when I actually began to nurture the idea that maybe there was something else out there and I would begin to formulate a plan as to how I was going to make it happen. But then sure enough my rational mind would take over and I’d listen to it, forever keeping
my divine right to happiness a fleeting thought.
At the age of 42, after stumbling upon what I consider to be
my life’s purpose - holistic health coaching - I finally realized that my entire life has been
a mere dress rehearsal for all that is yet to come. With this knowing, I summoned up the courage
to leave behind a life filled with misery, disdain, and angst, and that truly didn’t belong to me, and decided to bust loose in a big way.
To be honest, it was actually easier than you might think because in reality, once you discover the purpose for your life, you don’t ask too many questions. It becomes very clear what you need to do and you just do it.
Therefore, I made an unprecedented decision to leave my job in one of the worst economies since the Great Depression and go for it. 6 figure salary, company car, home office and all. That’s not to say that I didn’t have fears or doubts when I made the leap, or that I didn’t question my own sanity at times. I mean, after all, I had no safety net to break my fall, if I did in fact fall...
Yet whenever I
checked in with my gut instinct, it reassured me every time that I was doing the right thing.
In all fairness, it’s only fitting that I pay homage to my former career as it was there for me when I needed it, but the reality is that the reason I chose it in the first place was one
based out of fear – just like I made most decisions throughout my life up til then.
I
struggled for many years with the pain of a tormented past that clouded my judgment and my thinking and in an effort to be accepted and loved, and to maintain the status quo,
I did what everyone else thought I should do.
Thinking this way led to years of
intense anxiety, depression, and an overall lack of fulfillment. Five years ago began my journey into alternative healing which was born out of
an experience that nearly cost me my life. Up til then, I had been on prescription medication for those very symptoms.
I finally came to realize that
the more I ignored the feelings and tried to suppress them, the more they would tug at my shirttail and demand my attention, much like a crying child. Moreover, trying to mask them with medication that ultimately made the situation worse was not the answer either.
Ironically, even
under the false disguise of a cure, my feelings and behaviors would still manage to surface, which I found perplexing and self-defeating. I would binge on everything from food to alcohol, from shopping to travelling, and consistently
found myself in relationships with men that should’ve been illegal. But for 7 years, I dutifully followed directions and swallowed a little green pill every single day, thinking it would make it all better.
The truth is,
I was more broken, sad and lonely than ever before. The toll it took on my body and mind was even worse. I was confused, disoriented, and downright lost. For as many years that I had gained in life, I had little to show for progress.
Rewind 30 years. I can remember being 5 years old and knowing that the only thing I wanted to do was write. I wrote books for my mom, my brother, my sisters, and my dog. It was total bliss for me. I wrote 1 page books, and 10 page books, and dreamed of being a best-selling author someday.
So why is it that so many of us
abandon our true destiny as we get older and lose the safety and security of what it means to follow our hearts? Why does the world teach us that we’re supposed to
live our lives pleasing others instead of pleasing ourselves and doing what truly nurtures us?
Over the course of the past year, I’ve found that when you
tap into your one true meaning in life, there is no loneliness, fear, or uncertainty. Instead, everything flows. There’s no resistance. There’s no hard work. And best of all there’s no confusion.
It's laid out before you and all you have to do is take the first step.
Ironically, at a time when most people were clinging to their jobs for dear life, I willingly walked away from mine. I was at the top of my game too, making close to $200,000 a year, driving a company car and working from home. I was well respected and a valuable employee within the company.
But
I wanted more. To some, it might’ve sounded like I was crazy for leaving, but to a small minority, it
made perfect sense.
Just as soon as I left, I was able to see more precisely what I wanted. It all became crystal clear, but as with everything, first things first. Without even realizing what I had been doing, I had
managed to blow out my adrenals, my thyroid, and my capacity to focus, concentrate, and just plain think straight with all the stress I put myself through going upstream instead of downstream.
Shortly after leaving and as soon as my body realized it was over, I could barely get out of bed in the morning - literally. Often times I would sleep until 10 or 11am and with just having opened my own practice as a health coach, it scared me. If I couldn’t work, how would I ever support myself?
I was
generating 100% of my own income for the first time in my life, and it was then that I understood that the only way I could ever possibly attract a successful coaching business, along with everything else I wanted,
I had to fix myself first.
I later came to understand that I was
suffering from severe adrenal exhaustion, and this picture depicts the damage done to my body as a result in the form of
excess abdominal fat which is an all too common side effect, as well as low energy, cravings, and insomnia.
My health then became
my #1 priority. Over anything else,
restoring balance to my body and my mind took precedence. I recognized that even though the first year in business may not be the best time to invest $10,000 in anything but my business, unless I healed myself, there would be no business and I would not be physically able to have the career I so desperately wanted.
So I decided
no more excuses.
Not money, not time, not fear. It was time to
play full out and this was my one chance to do it. If I truly wanted to make my dreams come true and really rock this lifetime, I had to start somewhere and since all the places I started before never got me where I wanted to go,
it was time for a new direction.
It was then that I decided to join
Rose Cole’s VIP 3-Month Intensive Powerful Women Powwow. I realized that if I didn’t
take a stand for myself, no one else would, but it was without question one of the biggest decisions of my life. With a hefty price tag of $10,000 and no guarantee of what the outcome would be, I wasn't sure if I had made the right decision or not. It felt right, but I still wasn't convinced. Yet in the end there was no turning back and I dove in head first.
I have
too many things I want to do in life to let something like money stop me, and the reality is that money is simple to attract. Our society has set us up to believe it’s not though, and with recent news of a slumped economy and persistent layoffs, everyone’s running scared that there’s a
lack of money. Truth is it’s all around us, we all just need to learn how to reprocess our thoughts and tap into it.
Thank God I had that realization because I am now on
one of the most amazing journeys of my life. The vision board I created on April 6, 2008, sits before me as I type this, and includes a great guy, a house on the beach, a best-selling book and a dream body, not to mention all the other things that have already happened.
Unbeknownst to me at the time I made it, there was a system set up that would allow me to bring it all in focus so that I would be able to live in alignment with my true self, and for me, it started with eliminating my biggest source of stress. My job.
The key to making it happen though is
remembering to trust.
I ultimately
decided to join Rose's program not just for me, but for all the people that I coach as well - present and future. They
benefit from what I learn which only makes me better at my job. I want to embody health and prove how important it is to make it a
top priority, above anyone and anything else in your life.
Not only that, I've gotten the chance to live out some of my dreams through her program. I've already
broken through limiting beliefs that were holding me back in ways I never even realized, I've befriended women who I consider my soul sisters, and I had a photo shoot on the beach in California that truly left me
feeling like the diva I am inside.
It's been pretty cool so far, and I've got 2 more months to go!
Your
physical health is the foundation for achieving your dreams and without it, it’s virtually impossible to move forward. I know the money I spent will come back tenfold, so I'm not worried. I've
never felt freer in my life and no amount of money can replace that.
I feel like my life is about to take off. There's a lot more writing to come, and
my business is about to go into a whole new stratosphere.
Oh, and
I lied. The program didn’t cost $10,000. It actually cost more like $12,500, all expenses included. But as the saying goes -
I’m worth it! I can’t wait to share the results with you ;)
If you want to be part of the next Powerful Woman Powwow, you won't want to miss Rose's
“High Priestess Training” Free Teleclasses Series For Conscious Women starting July 7th.
The
Universe is inviting you to step it up and play a bigger game, and in order to do that, you’ve got to increase your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual vibrations. This is the way to become a spiritual warrior so
we can bring about HUGE change to the planet. The time is now!
She’s doing these free calls as
a gift to help elevate the feminine consciousness (and what a gift she is). You'll elevate your conscious awareness just by being on the calls!
CLICK HERE to sign up for the calls. If you can’t make them live, she will be sending out the recordings afterwards if you sign up for the series. I'll be a
featured guest speaker on 3 of the calls so be sure to sign up!
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